Okay, it was actually the Nightmare before Epiphany, but that’s not nearly such an obvious Tim Burton homage.

My wife is Puerto Rican, so Epiphany, or 3 Kings Day is a big deal.  In fact, as far as presents go, it’s as big, or bigger than Santa and Christmas.  This is my third round of Christmas/Epiphany as a Dad, and the first where my daughter was old enough to have a handle on what was going on.  As a result, I have officially learned some valuable lessons that I’d like to share with you all in the hope that I can spare you some pain and anguish…

This lesson is brought to you by the Play Wonder Mini Market Set.  At about 9pm on the day before Epiphany, we were busy wrapping presents.  The market comes flat-pack in a box about the size of two shoeboxes, so some assembly was obviously required.  Having learned some lessons from Christmas (see below) I decided to assemble it before wrapping it.

Lest you think I’m some kind of neophyte with assemble it yourself stuff, let me establish my credentials.  I’ve renovated two houses, which included installing two full kitchens and re-doing numerous bathrooms.  I’ve also assembled many many many sets of shelves and other Ikea-like works.

But even I was aghast at the 32 pieces that fell out of the box, 99 if you include all the fasteners.  And I’m not even counting the 20-odd pieces of play food that the thing comes with.

The instructions have the interesting habit of describing every step along with showing a picture.  But unfortunately (or maybe deliberately) every so often the description misses a key step.  While the picture may kind of show that M must be in place before you attach C, D, E, G and H to A, it doesn’t actually tell you that.  All in all, a very relaxing way to spend the evening with your spouse…

In the end, it took me 2 and a half HOURS to build this thing!  I think real markets are assembled in less time… 

With the New Year and all, I’m still in my happy place.  So I’ll share some suggestions learned from my mini-market-induced trauma and other toddler-present-related complications…

1. Always always always pre-assemble.  Two and a half hours to assemble Barbie’s House of Wonderment in the days before the event will pale in comparison to the amount of time it will take with an active daddy-is-it-ready-yet toddler at your side.
2. Don’t just assemble, unpack.  Those wire-twisty-strap things that all toys are packaged with are a serious impediment to a toddler’s enjoyment.  Get them out before you wrap the gifts.  While you’re at it, put the batteries in too — you’ll never have a Philips screwdriver handy on the big day for the stupid screw-on battery cover.
3. If, god forbid, whatever you’ve bought makes a noise or otherwise does things, you might want to test it too.  "Why doesn’t magic goldfish swim, Daddy?", "He’s resting, sweetpea".  This goes double for anything with a pulse!
4. Last but not least, have a passing familiarity with whatever "it" is.  There’s nothing worse than not being able to "make it go" at the right time.

Four little steps to holiday happiness…  And that concludes any and all holiday related posts from me.  Now back to our regular scheduled programming…

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I spent part of the holidays back on my home turf.  While it is great to see family and friends, I always have mixed feelings about being back in the UK. 

On the one hand, it is where I grew up and lived until my mid-twenties.  On the other hand, it is also a place I chose to leave with relatively little intention of ever moving back.

So, as an insider, what’s to like?

1. Amazing history.  You can’t hack a loogey without desecrating a chunk of history.  For example, on the way back to Heathrow, we stopped in Windsor.  Queenie has a teensy pad there that she lives in for part of the year.   It’s one of the biggest castles in Europe, and the longest continually inhabited one at that (about 900 years at this point).  My home town was mentioned in the Domesday Book (written in 1086 AD) and was one of the centers of the industrial revolution.  It’s home to all kinds of historical whatnots, including a 12th Century Cistercian Abbey and a 16th Century stately home.
2. Fantastic candy.  I’m biased, but you can’t beat an English Cadbury’s bar, bag of Maltesers or a toffee-chocolate from a tin of Quality Street.
3. Great bread, cheese and beer!  All at fairly good prices!
4. Remarkably civilized drinking habits.
5. Generally reliable and reasonably priced public transportation.
6. Some great fuel efficient cars that get 40-60 miles to the gallon (like the ones from Renault and Citroen).

There’s more, but those are some of the things that come most readily to mind.

Assuming you’re not history/lactose/sucrose/alcohol intolerant, what’s not to love?  A few things, IMO…

1. Holey Moley is it EXPENSIVE.  Even without the current terrible exchange rate (~$2 to the pound), it’s horrendous.  Generally speaking, you’ll pay the same number of pounds for something that you would pay dollars.  A $4 McDonalds meal would cost around 4 pounds i.e. $8 at today’s rates.  During our brief stop in Windsor, we hit a Pizza Hut.  Dinner for four was ~$85.  Yeah, Pizza Hut.  No, we didn’t have caviar on the pizza.
2. Did I mention it was EXPENSIVE?  Try $8 per gallon for gas and sales tax at 17.5% (although the price you see in the store includes the sales tax, so you’re not hit over the head with it when you check-out).
3. Insane taxes.  So there’s income tax and National Insurance.  But there’s also the 3% tax on buying  a house, Road Fund License (basically a tax), a whole variety of taxes on top of sales tax on gas, liquor and beer.  You have to buy a TV license.  The British equivalent of an inspection is the MOT, but it’s an inspection on steroids.  I have never owned a car in England that passed it’s MOT without needing work done.  So in addition to the $100 for the inspection, you’re looking at anywhere from $200 to literally thousands in repair fees.  And you can’t have a car on the road without a valid MOT.  Every where you turn, they have a nifty way of taxing you, and while salaries are better than they used to be, they are still lower than their US equivalents.
4. An absurd, out-of-control nanny state.  Excessive numbers of surveillance cameras are one thing, but jail time for talking on a cell phone?  Some of the rights granted to individuals are great (the mandated standards for maternity leave are amazing), but others are inane and burdensome for anyone daring enough to be a capitalist (particularly in the areas of tenant, employee and consumer rights).
5. The NHS (National Healthcare System).  Yes, everyone has access to health care, but (a) it’s not free — you pay plenty of taxes for the privilege, and (b) the quality of care can be both appalling and life-threatening.  I have a Great Uncle with documented angina.  While traveling, he had a mild attack and was rushed to the emergency room (he’s fine now).  The doctors there were convinced it was indigestion, despite all the evidence to the contrary.  And while I believe it is better now, any non-life threatening condition needing surgery can take a long time.  4+ years for a hip replacement, anyone?
6. Some of the people.  The myth is that the English are stunningly polite, and many are.  But equally, some of the rudest, most small-minded people I’ve ever met live in the UK.  I fondly remember my first trip back after moving to the US.  I arrived at Heathrow at 6am, which is very much akin to being thrown in purgatory. I was supposed to be taking a bus to a nearby town, but could not find the appropriate bus stop, despite looking for some time.  I finally found an employee, on their tea break, and politely asked where I might find bus stop M.  After a moment’s pause to put down the tea, the employee looked me in the eye and said "It’s between f*cking bus stop L and f*cking bus stop N" and promptly went back to his tea.  Ahh.  The sweet smell of home.

All in all, it’s a great place to visit.  I highly recommend getting out of London if you’re there for any length of time.  I also recommend getting someone else to foot the bill for the trip whenever possible!

Categories: Old Posts
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In my last post of 2007, I put together a list of the 10 best bits of the year.  At #1 was the support I get from my wife.  She’s a lot more modest than me (one of her many charms) and was less than convinced that she deserved Rockstar status.

When you’re on the startup roller-coaster, the support of those around you can play a big role in your determination and willingness to keep going.  No matter how good the idea and how fervently you believe in it, there are always some dark days that you really have to dig deep to fight through.

10+ years ago, I was in a different relationship and up to my neck in a very challenging turnaround.  It was effectively a startup, except that we had none of the goodwill that comes with being a new company and were burdened with some serious debt and overhead.  My partner at the time was initially supportive, but as the hours climbed and the wall between work and home crumbled, that support evaporated.  To be fair, the workload was ridiculous and I didn’t know then as well as I know now just what was going to be involved.  In other words, I probably didn’t set expectations very well.  But that lack of support made a heavy burden worse and contributed mightily to the demise of that relationship.

In contrast, having the support of someone you know and trust (in good times and in bad, no less) can transform even the heaviest burden into a salvageable situation.

The Rockstar status I give to my wife is based on a long list of qualities and actions.  In no particular order, here are some highlights:

• An incredible tolerance for my lack of a paycheck (and the impact that has on our personal finances and spending habits)
• A willingness to help out, including taking a job to help pay the bills
• The strength to read some 30+ iterations of the same damn business plan (and listen to the related Powerpoint pitches)
• A continuous and active interest in what I’m doing and how things are going
• A well tuned ear for listening when I need to talk something through, combined with a willingness to tell me to "suck it up" when that’s what I need to hear
• An obvious sense of pride in what we’re doing and the things we accomplish
• Patience with long hours, odd schedules and milestones that move around constantly

Like any normal human being, she has days when she would just like me to have a paycheck and a normal schedule.  But she knows that I love what I do, and in a Rainman-esque way, it’s what I’m wired for. 

That kind of support makes all the difference in the world.  And boy am I going to owe her some serious shoe indulgence when we get funded…

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Seems I’ve been slow to get back in gear with blogging — I can’t believe it’s the 4th of January already!

The next few weeks should be interesting on many fronts, from events in Monkeyland to caucus’s & primaries to CES and MacWorld. Personally, I always found the experience of attending CES to be a bit like being a cow at a slaughterhouse, only without the nice steak at the end of it all…

I’ll be back to my more usual rate of posting as of Monday… Thanks for sticking around!

Categories: Old Posts
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