Archive for December, 2007

Another Day in the Life…

NickN| December 16, 2007 3:15 am

Straight from the "that was fun" archive…  The last week and a half has been hell.  But for once, it had little to do with browser bugs. 

My daughter came home will a low-grade fever last week, which turned into some kind of fluey/cold/miscellaneous toddler lurgy.  The CDC should adopt us as their poster-family for viral vectors — whatever she had, my wife and I both got in same or mutated form.  If bird flu ever lands… we’re screwed.  I also have a much better understanding of just how effective plague rats were in medieval London…

In my case the lurgy was transmogrified into a delightful strep/sinus combo infection thing that (a) was gross and (b) resulted in me being doped up on steroids and antibiotics all week.

Aside from dashing my hopes of being an Olympic contender, this was most inconvenient.  First of all, I had two investor pitches set up, and with the holidays bearing down on us I didn’t want to reschedule.

Secondly, I had promise promise promised myself that this week I would finally nail the tutorials for the beta users of Unifyr.  The problem being that I was going to do words & pictures tutorials using Camtasia, rather than make people read stuff.

I made it through the pitches relatively unscathed.  I hate starting a pitch with an excuse, so it wasn’t until well in to the conversation that I ‘fessed up and explained that a phone-stalker voice was not my usual method of pitching.

But I could not get the 10+ minute tutorial done. 

Last Thursday, I finally had an increase in voice and a decrease in phlegm.  That was to be the day!  Only my daughter’s miscellaneous toddler lurgy had morphed into a projectile vomiting kind of thing.  Several hours and a trip to the ER later (who knew Pediatricians had office Christmas parties), I was back on track.  Ready to get it done…

Friday came and went all too quickly.  Logan unearthed some bugs and a minor screwing by CVS (the version control system, not the pharmacy chain) that needed to be fixed.

Saturday was going to be my day.  The day.  The day I conquered the Tutorial.

Did I mention that I was leaving on Sunday and would be traveling for a few days?  And that I can’t take all the recording/computer gear with me?

Tick tock…

Saturday morning flew by as I tracked down things for my trip (socks, pants and other critical stuff) and made a feeble attempt at getting organized.  Thank god my wife is superhuman in that department!

Saturday afternoon arrived.  I’m ready.  I’m rehearsed.  The rough draft has been assembled.  I just need to grab the hi-res video and record clean audio.

The mini-monkey is entertained (thank you Curious George) and I am all set.

It’s at this point that I notice that the weather has gotten a little nasty.  Stormy winds and rain.

Oh well, the mike shouldn’t pick it up too badly.

Ready?  Set?

Power outage.

I shit you not.  Whole damn neighborhood in darkness.

And then it came back.  Only to flip off again.  On.  Off.  On.  Off.  And stayed off.  It got flaky around 5pm.  It wasn’t on again consistently until after 10:30pm.

Ay Caramba!

It’s now 2:30am and the last part is rendering.  About another hour and I shold be done.

Beta users: you’d better like that damn tutorial :-D

Check out the whole new website!

NickN| December 14, 2007 6:00 pm

The many stages of “Early Stage”… Part 2

NickN| December 13, 2007 6:22 pm

In my previous Early Stage post, I took you from day one to the first smackdown by an investor.

So what happens from there?

A Taste for Punishment / aka: smackdown #2, #3, #4…

Okay, so you’ve convinced yourself that the first investor simply didn’t "get it".  If you’re lucky like us, the first smackdown occurred in a semi-safe environment (we pitched at a CED STREAK session, which is basically akin to a group beating that doesn’t leave visible scars).

But not getting it can always be fixed by a new business plan and powerpoint deck, right?  As you dig in to both, you realize that maybe you weren’t quite as clear as you thought.  But this time out, you’re going to nail it.

Fast forward to the next VC pitch.  This one should be a good one…  Except it’s not.  Now there’s some meat on the bones, investors are ignoring the fact that they don’t understand what you’re up to and instead focusing on the things they hate about your pitch.  They don’t like the name, the market, they think your figures are wrong, you haven’t talked to customers.  It’s a long list.  But rest assured, they’re interested and would like to be kept updated on your progress…

<sigh>

What’s worse, each person you meet with tells you something different.  And wrestling with the difference between "need" and "pain" is making your ears bleed.  Your quest for clarity has lead to your biz plan ballooning to far too many pages and a powerpoint deck that needs to be gently put to sleep…  Time for the next stage.

Righteous Indignation / aka the quiet period…

You know you’re making something cool.  Why can’t they get it?  The light did go on briefly with that one guy… maybe there’s something in that.

Time to go quiet and work on what you’re building… and re-write the business plan… and update the Powerpoint deck.

If you have a spouse, this is where they start politely asking "when do you think things will get going?".  Whatever date you give here doesn’t matter, you’ll still be wrong.

Ugly Baby! / aka one step forward, two steps back…

It’s ALIVE! Ha ha ha ha haaaa.  And It actually does stuff.  It’s ugly like a hair on a wart on a bunion, but it works.   You show it to some customers.  Well, okay, you show it to your Mom, friends, former co-workers and anyone else that has some reason to indulge you.

And suddenly, feature creep is upon you.  Yes, you’re a hammer and every problem looks like a nail.  But there are some really good reasons why you should handle many different types of nail.  You probably ought to handle screws too.  And maybe make holes for screws and nails.  While we’re at it, you should be able to remove nails, screws and possibly other kinds of adhesive too.

And the fun is just beginning.  With renewed optimism, you show It to an investor.  They seem a little perturbed that you are, in fact, keeping them up to date on your progress.  What’s more, they now realize they understood even less than they thought about what you’re up to, and are correspondingly more able to tell you exactly what they don’t like about everything you’re doing.  And they do all that without actually saying "no, we pass" of course!

You have Einstein’s Brain recreated in C++, running as a service on a LAMP stack.  The underlying code understands the meaning of life, the universe, and well pretty much everything.  But your GUI is fresh from the 70’s.  Let’s be honest, it’d be a command line if you could get away with it, but the pesky biz-oriented co-founder insists that there must be a UI.

No AJAX?  Shame on you.  Go directly to being unfunded.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect seed funding.

And so the madness continues.

I’m going to skip a few stages here.  But in the months after Ugly Baby, you’ll see some pros and cons.

Pros: 

  • You’ll finally get some friends & family-style funding in place.  Not much but enough to actually pay some bills.
  • If you’re lucky, you’ll attract some good board members who will attempt to patiently corral you into writing a real business plan that someone genetically unrelated to you will understand.
  • You’ll implement a fancy new GUI that makes the whole thing look sexy.
  • Your product will go through cycles of becoming more complex, but resolving to something simpler as common threads emerge
  • You’ll become increasingly convinced that you are, in fact, on to something.

Cons:

  • You’ll talk to some allegedly "Genuine Early Stage" investors, who’ll tell you that you need customers and revenues before they would even consider investing. 
  • You’ll send pitches to Angel Groups, who’ll tell you that they don’t know much about tech. 
  • You’ll apply for grants and loans, only to be told that you’re not quite the kind of business they like to fund.
  • Your swanky new UI will unleash a sh*tstorm of browser bugs that are outside your control.  Insert weeks of stupid "If IE 6, then X, if IE 7, then Y, if Firefox PC, then Z" testing, rewriting and asinine bug hunting that has nothing to do with your technology and burns your days faster than Jenny Craig burns b-list celebrity fat.

Git Sum Luvin’ / aka Making friends in the blogosphere (and elsewhere)…

Finally, somebody loves you.  Someone somehow finds out about what you do and thinks it’s cool.  Suddenly there’s a wave of interest that leads to some more serious discussions.  If you’re really lucky, you might get to talk to someone that was on your top 5 list of "people who should really get this".

What’s more, real people are now using the product.  There’s even a release date in sight. 

On the personal front, things are getting squeezy — every last coffer has been raided, including ones that shouldn’t be.  But if you’re lucky, your family are nothing but supportive.

The Holy Grail / aka someone paid you money

An actual customer paid you money.  And for your product, too!  And they’re not the only one!  Having paying customers turns crazy times into insane-turbocharged-ultra-mega-mojo crazy times.  You’ll have to finally cave in and read "Crossing the Chasm", because everyone tells you you should.  You’ll also have to consider getting a real office, a phone system, people who do things and all that crazy stuff.

You also get to feel less like a bum — you’ve made a product that people will pay for.  Cool beans!

Rapid Growth / aka madness, madness and more madness…

If you’ve got traction, you’ve got growth.  And boy does that get crazy.  It took you 3 years to make your first $500k, and you’ll make more than that this month (well done, by the way).  By the end of the year, you’ll have 40 employees, health care coverage, a 401(k) and revenues of $5M.  Maybe profitability is even in sight.

Hopefully by now you’ve found investors that have backed you to this point.  But rest assured, there will be plenty of "genuine seed stage investors" that are now desperate to talk to you, because they are "excited about your space", "knew you were on to something big" and just plain "have the utmost respect for what you’ve done".

I hope you’ve enjoyed my slightly(!) sarcastic look at the joys of being an early stage company.  In all seriousness, I love every minute of it and wouldn’t do anything else.  I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by good people that support what I’m doing.  And like any real venture, our success (or failure) will be a team effort.

2008 will be an interesting year for us.  It begins with one of the most important meetings we’ve ever taken.  Several other potentially world-changing (for us) discussions are also underway, with results expected early next year.  I’m not sleeping much (and neither is Logan), bills need paying, and we’re always short of time.  But life is good.

Getting Facetarded…

NickN| December 12, 2007 10:00 am

I’ll happily admit I’m outside Facebook’s core demographic.  I know it’s being invaded by old farts now, so I’m in good company, but much like MySpace, it’s not a site I’m particularly drawn to.

I’ve joined some of its precursors, like FriendsReunited (the UK version of classmates.com) and signed
up for LinkedIn a couple of years ago.

My dalliance with FriendsReunited ended when they asked for money.  Didn’t see the point.  LinkedIn has proven to be occasionally useful, but again, I’m too cheap to pay for their premium services.  If I were job hunting, I might feel different.

My wife is in the Facebook demographic and has been an active user for a while.  Many of her former classmates are signed up too.  I joined a few months ago just to (a) see what the noise was about; and (b) see if there was anything new that I should be aware of.

And there is.

Specifically, Facebook appears to have created two wholly new sources of annoyance in my life.

First of all, whenever someone sends a message to me, I get an email saying I got a message.  So instead of one message to deal with, I now have two.  Just what my personal inbox needs!  I gather they are in the process of fixing this, but it’s still dumb.

The source of my second major gripe is far more nefarious in nature.  Facebook’s primary mission, it seems, it to turn otherwise intelligent people into idiot spammers, or as I’m calling them, Facetards.

Whenever you decide to add an application (Fun Wall, SpamWall, TurdWall or whatever) Facebook defaults to automatically trying to message ALL your friends telling them about the new app you installed.  If you’re on auto-pilot, you’ll probably miss that and become a Facetard. 

Here’s how it usually works.  Every day or so I’ll get a message that "Friend X has left a message on your TurdWall".  Hmm, I don’t recall installing TurdWall.  When I login, sure enough I’m prompted to install the TurdWall application.  As part of the install, Facebook attempts to get me to spam all my friends and introduce them to the wonders of Turdwall.

I know it helps applications spread, but when the price of spreading is annoying your customers, I don’t see the model can last.

And now I feel even more like an old fart.  Those damn young kids and their BetaMax VCRs.  Bah, humbug.

What goes “whoosh”, is super cool and has more red lights than a Christmas tree?

NickN| December 11, 2007 6:58 pm

There can be only one…

Yes.  The ever fabulous Knight Rider.  I happened to catch an episode last week and it was a smorgasbord of cheesetastic loveliness.  And my car still doesn’t do all that stuff…

Now bear in mind that when Knight Rider aired when I was a kid growing up in England, most cars looked like this:
Fiat_126p

(the trusty Fiat 126)

or this (my first car):

800pxrenault4

(the Renault 4)

or, if you were really lucky, this:

800pxaustin_maxi_1980

(yay Austin Maxi)

So looking like this:

Kitt1

was a turbo-boosted ride to amazing…

That ever-trusty bastion of trivia, wikipedia, says that 90 episodes were created and they aired in more than 30 countries.  Did you know the crazy Swedes called it "Knight of the Night", and for the terribly literal German market, it was titled "Knight Rider – a car, a computer, a man – A man and his car fight against injustice".  And in Hungary, KITT had the "S-P-M-Fokozat".  Have you ever wondered what the Fokozat?

Fantastic!  And just try not humming that theme tune all day after you watch the video clip…